What are we all playing this weekend?

Finally, some decent weather round these parts. And I don’t mean good weather, you perverse sun-lovers. I mean some real wind and rain to clear the air. Sitting at my desk next to the window, my eye keeps being caught by the hypnotic swaying of the treetops. It’s quite magical, really. I might go for a walk later.

Just kidding. I’m superglued to my desk chair (thankfully it’s a very comfy chair), and I’m ready for a weekend that’s distinguishable from the weekdays only in name. Here’s what we’re all clicking on this weekend!

Probably more Little Kitty Big City. I cannot tell you how I feel about it, due to being close friends with its writer, the former RPS scribbler Pip Warr. A juicy conflict of interest. But I can tell you how I feel about cats, which is: very strongly.

I am back from seeing a man about a monkey. The ape, you could say: didn’t escape. More words on that coming soon! This weekend, though, hmmm. Might dip into more of that Elden Ring: Shadow Of The Erdtree as now the guides gang’s excellent how-tos are live, I can finally find my way to the optional stuff. I will spend all my forthcoming souls on upping my Big Hammer build, because I refuse to engage with any form of finesse.

I don’t plan to play many vidyas this weekend, as I’ll be seeing family and travelling, but I’ve still got that Steam Deck James unwisely lent me. I might see how nautical survival sim The Pale Beyond scrubs up on the train – going by the Steam page, it’s The Terror but a touch less supernatural.

I have no earthly idea what I’ll be playing this weekend, aside from the normal troika of Fall Guys, Minecraft and Dune Imperium. Which is to say, I know exactly what I’m playing this weekend, but those three are now so standard that they feel like pieces of furniture in my life. I’ll probably try something new, too, but I don’t know what yet.

I’ve bought, and am attempting to properly play, this obscure hidden gem called Elden Ring. I give it a week before I either give up and install one of those easy mode mods, or succumb to the FromSoftware brain slug, roaming comment sections to tell people who didn’t ask that being miserable is fun, actually.

I’ll be finishing up the demo of Five Gods of Kung Fu, an indie game that I Kickstarted some time ago where you play as a spirited fellow wandering the fields of China, beating ass Drunken Monkey style. Other than that, there’s no surprises from me this weekend, as I’ll just be going back to basics and enjoying some games that I’ve already mentioned before on previous weeks. A bit of Carpathian Night, some Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown (it’s gonna be on Steam in August, all of you should buy it).

This weekend, as with all others for the foreseeable future, I will be playing Elden Ring: Shadow Of The Erdtree. I’m at the final boss (and have been avoiding it for some time because man…what a jerk), and I’ve explored most areas. But there is always more to do in Elden Ring and I still have an entire region left to explore and questline to blunder my way through. Send thoughts and prayers.

I’m going to alternative between watching The Bear season 3 and trying to beat Shadow Of The Erdtree’s two remaining large bosses, and see which activity raises my cortisol levels to dangerous quantities first. I’ve only watched two episodes of new The Bear so far, and it’s already had one of the most traumatically accurate on-screen family shouting matches I’ve ever seen in a TV show, which bodes…well?

I think all this recent work on Shadow Of The Erdtree has finally put me over the 1,000 hours mark for Elden Ring. I was thinking of making a joke about, y’know, time to take a break by playing more Elden Ring! Har-dee-har! But actually I’m hankering for some FPS action. It’s been several months now. I think I’ll go back to some Hunt: Showdown, soak in a different kind of bleakness for a while.

But you, reader dear, what are you playing this weekend?

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