Helldivers 2 APC-deliverer isn’t Joel, claims source, raising grim prospect of multiple Joels

By admin Mar26,2024

Yesterday I posted a story about Helldivers 2 game master Joel, which showed him delivering an unreleased vehicle to a random group of players before vanishing into the ether. But this morning came a thunderous plot twist. Someone on team RPS was contacted by a verified source with first hand knowledge of Joel’s shady activities. The source has confirmed that APC-deliverer Joel isn’t anything but an imposter, a fake, a generous fraud. The Real Joel, it seems, isn’t so brazen with his actions.

According to our mysterious Treehouse member, our Jource (Joel Source) got in touch with them last night in regards to the APC story I’d posted (to safeguard democracy, I’m not going to reveal either of their identities). They wanted to “put the record straight” and say that it wasn’t the work of Real Joel, because Real Joel’s so busy scheming, he simply wouldn’t have time to drop into games like some patriotic Bad Santa. Real Joel is, however, seemingly glad that the impersonator wanted “other people to have fun” as it’s a goal that they “both share”.

Automatons stand guard on the grey planet of Tien Kwan in Helldivers 2.
Image credit: Arrowhead Studios

Now, you might read into that final flourish from our Jource as something rather sweet. Oh, Real Joel is happy that others are impersonating him and spreading cheer, lovely! We all need to wake up. Real Joel is snickering right now. The light just streaked off his glasses, briefly revealing his sinister eyes and the Illuminate faction chuckling in his pupils. He’s pushed the bridge of his glasses up his nose, clasped his hands together in front of his mouth and brought his fingers together. The “Fun” for Joel is in seeing us Helldivers suffer by miring us in confusion about the Realness of Joel.

What I want to know is, who is the Other Joel? How are they able to hop into someone’s game and spawn an unreleased goodie? As PCGamer say, there are plenty of other accounts with the moniker [AH] Joel, as well as plenty of other instances where unreleased Stratagems have found their way into random lobbies. These Other Joels are probably calling upon some form of cheat software to perform their stunts. Still, you can’t rule out the fact that these instances could all be part of Real Joel’s masterplan. These other ‘Joels’, these other ‘instances’, may be part of something calamitous in our pursuit of democracy. What’s to say that other Joels aren’t just pawns in Real Joel’s game? Billy Joel, Joel from The Last Of Us, Joel Thomas Zimmerman (Deadmau5), your actual real life friend called Joel. All of them: suspects.

By admin

Related Post